We had another life-changing Pure Heart Weekend this past . . . well, weekend. We had seven women meet with Christ in the stuck places of their hearts, and receive His comfort and His transforming grace. We always have beautiful women who look like all the women you know at church, coffee shops, and Bible study groups; faithful in attendance, smiling easily, agreeable and helpful to everyone around them. Yet, when we guide our Friday discussion at the weekend to the invisible matters of the heart, everyone begins to realize that there are hurtful episodes in our past that are choking out the joy of our salvation.
“Good homes” are, upon further reflection, actually homes where little girl’s hearts were trashed or neglected. Fathers were actually quite hurtful with their silence or their secret porn. The improper sexual touching by older persons around the home always led to a hidden, diminished sense of value. Adolescent body image issues were actually more painful than we want to acknowledge. Then, attempting to find comfort or acceptance through teenage sex always brought such scandal in the heart, which turned into shame around mother, and worse, unworthiness around God and His people.
But what does God bring to a Pure Heart Weekend?
Renovation Grace.
That’s the kind of grace we receive from the Lord Jesus Christ when we enter into dialogue with Him about those difficult memories. Deep spiritual transformation comes from a deep inner journey into the wounds and empty places of the soul. God’s greatest work in our lives comes from our greatest conversations with Him. In this vein, John’s Gospel begins with telling us that The Lord Jesus Christ, the incarnate Son of God, is the Word. “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” (John 1:1) To have a conversation with us God sent forth the First Word.
I once read that Erasmus translated John’s verse like this:
In the beginning was the Conversation . . . and the Conversation was with God,
and the Conversation was God.”
God made us dialogical creatures, and every time He came to earth to engage humans, He started a conversation. He started a dialogue.
You see, it’s not just that you are angry with your sister; it’s that God wants to dialogue with you about why you are angry with her. No, it’s not just that she said what she did; it’s why you are so easily provoked by her words. It’s about a long-ago history with her and the way she treated you at home.
You see, It’s not just that you ignore your wife; it’s that you won’t acknowledge that you are scared of her. No, it’s not that she’s mean, but that you have a fear of her strength.
You see, it’s not just that you have a hatred of men, because your father and/or husband have hurt you. It’s that you’re not addressing specific father/daughter wounds in dialogical conversation with God. These wounds remain unhealed, and your husband is paying for it.
You see, it’s not just that you have a quick temper at work, and that your management style is abrasive on occasion —even though you can be funny in the conference room at the birthday parties for employees. It’s that you were “punk’d” as an adolescent, and that you grew up being marginalized and minimized, so that when you feel slighted at the office, years worth of anger comes spewing out. But you won’t connect these dots in an honest conversation with God.
We know that some of our modern-day behavior is wrong (even though we justify it), but we never acknowledge that this behavior is a pattern, or part of a sequence that grows from a root issue from earlier days in our lives.
For this reason so few people ever change meaningfully. We are addressing the fruit but ignoring the root.
One man came into group meeting one night and said, “Boy, my wife can really torque me up!” He asked me why she was able to always do that to him. I replied, “Because you are so torque-up-able. The problem is on your end. You are not dealing with old childhood memories of being emasculated or marginalized.”
It is about our EARLY HISTORY that the Great Conversationalist of the Universe wants to dialogue with us. James says, “Purify your hearts, you double-minded.” (Jas 4:8) We purify our hearts through meeting God in conversation about those events. It’s not merely my sins of today, but it’s that these behaviors stem from earlier shame, wounds, losses, emasculations, molestations, rejections or disappointments. Your healing comes from Renovation Grace, through dialogue with God about your early story.
Then God will change you at the level of Identity.
-Carter