In my journey of healing there were several verses and passages that I came back to time and time, again.
I read them over and over.
I stayed quiet before them. I “abided” there (Jn 15:5). I abided a little longer. I let the Holy Spirit take the time to mature this Word in me.
Last week we drew our attention to John 7 where Jesus cried out with a loud voice,
“If any one thirsts, let Him come to me and drink.”
In the next verse Jesus continued with this,
“He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said,
From out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.”
(and He was referring to the Holy Spirit)
Jesus was saying that if you drank Him into your life, if you drank His life, then from out of your belly, His life would flow rivers.
This word for belly is also translated several times in the New Testament as womb. The womb, of course, is the place where human life is conceived, where it gestates, where it grows and matures, and from where a new life emerges. When we come to Christ in our thirst, and we drink Him in, then He enlarges His life in us. As we spend a period of gestation, carrying His Life and the Word (the teaching) of Righteousness (Heb 5:13) in our heart, our understanding of His life in us gestates and matures. Then one day, that teaching bears its fruit, manifesting His righteousness, His life.
His life is manifest through us, and comes forth in flowing rivers. Not a trickle. Not a weak stream. Not even one river, but rivers of living water.
I wish that had been my earlier experience. I went to Bible College as a quite-less-than-spiritual young man. I found a beginner’s relationship with Christ as I studied The Bible. But there was no gestation. There was no growth in the womb before I was bringing forth an immature expression of His Life. I was placed before others —as well as putting myself out in front of others— to teach, to preach, or to explain His word in counseling . . . as if I were some kind of worthy authority. I grimace to think back on it.
Before we go out to save the world, God wants to save the world from us, from our immaturity and our wounded, broken, self-centered spiritual ministries. Indeed, He wants to save us from ourselves. He wants to meet us in our thirst, and pour His life into our dry, thirsty places. He wants to be our quenching, to be our deep satisfaction. He wants us to be so full of Him that rivers of His life flow from us.
Instead of experiencing that, I sought a ministry that was built on covering my shame and my secrets, built on my weakness and pride, where only a trickling stream of His life flowed out. Today, I have a ministry that is more mature. It is built on the quenching Life of Him Who delivered me from shame and secrets. He met me in my weakness and pride and strengthened me with His healing presence (Heb 13:9b).
We are most useful to God not when a trickling stream flows from us, but when rivers of His life flow from us. “If any man thirsts!” If you are thirsty for a deep love; if you are thirsty for acceptance and approval; if you are thirsty to be affirmed and recognized; if you are thirsty for healing from neglect or abandonment, from betrayal or rejection, then “come to Me and drink.”
Meet Him in your pain and sorrow. Meet Him in your shame and fear. Drink Him in to those dry places. Receive His healing word along with His healing presence. Stay there. Come back again to His word tomorrow. Come back again the next day. Stay in that same word. Stay with Him in prayer. Keep drinking. Keep coming back again for more. Let His life heal you (Matt 8:16-17; Rom 5:10 (sozo); 2 Pe 1:3); let it ground you in His love (Eph 3:17); let it establish you in righteousness (Isa 54:14). Keep drinking until the gestation of His Life in you brings forth rivers of the Holy Spirit manifesting the life of Christ.
Abide in Him (Jn 15:5).
Abide, again.
Then stay longer and abide some more.
He will change you at the level of Identity, and rivers of His Life will flow from your “womb.”
-Carter