In my last blog I introduced you to Katherine’s story. She was emotionally abandoned and traumatized as a child by her mother’s absence from the home. From the age of 4 Katherine was never able to rest in the assurance of being loved and being safe. The lonely shame of being unwanted, being unloved, being no one’s priority, began to grow in her heart.
Katherine came to Christ as a young adult, but despite thirty-six years in a steady and enduring marriage, wonderful Bible studies, and a classic church family, Katherine’s heart was still broken and unhealed.
Isn’t that common? We have busy lives, full of our so-called “Christian” fellowship, our ministries of service to God and man down at church, along with the continuous energy required to run our homes —yet, we never attend to the broken hearts we carry. Katherine has plenty of such quiet time, now.
Katherine is living with Multiple Myeloma. This form of cancer affects the plasma cells in the bone marrow, and requires stem cell transplants. The process for healing is a 100-day strategy that is much like death and resurrection, as the transplant requires a large blast of chemotherapy to kill not only any trace of cancer, but all the fast-growing cells in the body. It also wipes out the immune system. At the end of the pain healthy stem-cells are put back into her body to do their life-giving work.
It sounds like Romans chapter 6. The old man (our sinful spirit inherited from Adam) is crucified and put to death. Then that same spirit is born-again with the life of Christ, and we are brought to life In Christ. What was keeping us from ever living the Christian life is eradicated on the cross. Then the Christian life, Christ’s life within us, is infused into our spirit bringing us back to life, life in Christ.
Katherine had been doing her spiritual healing work since her 2008 experience at Pure Heart Weekend. She was growing in the Father’s love when three years ago the cancer showed up for the first time. As the therapy process was explained to her Katherine found herself fearful. Indeed, the 100 days were hard and crushing, and she was not prepared for it. She wrestled with her faith, but endured to the end. She came out of that episode more confident of the Father’s love.
But the cancer returned this year, requiring a second stem-cell transplant from which she is still recovering. This go-round was so much harder on her body, but Katherine moved past her doubts as it brought her to know God like never before. Once again, she knew the power of Psalm 34:4
I sought the Lord, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears.
Katherine told me, “To know God is more important to me than anything, more important than to know the healing of the cancer. If I know Him, then I can go through anything.”
She is praying and learning to know WHO her Heavenly Father is, instead of praying to tell Him what she wants Him to do for her —that is, to take away the cancer. Now, despite taking pills for 4+ years to combat the return of the Myeloma, it returned anyway. Katherine wrote to me, “Very recently I awakened from a slumber of sorts, a slumber of passivity about the cancer, and I came to terms with it. I have cancer. Healing prayers might take it away, but maybe it will never go away. I had a shift in my mind, and I faced it. I grieved. But I kept seeking God’s Face. I am convinced that I will know my Creator in ways like never before.”
Continuing, she said, “How could I ask Him to heal me if I don’t really know Him the way He wants me to know Him? After all, the reason for this life is to reflect Him and His glory. Instead of focusing on healing, I have shifted to knowing. I want to have an intimacy with Him that supersedes this cancer, and she quoted the favorite verse of our friend Tracy, who died from ALS a few years ago, “our momentary light affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison . . .” (2 Cor 4:17).
Katherine would like to encourage us all with this thought: Are you seeking a healing instead of the Healer? Are you wanting a deliverance, without knowing the Deliverer? Wherever you are in life, seek the face of the Healer first, and let Him purify your heart. Remember, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” (Matt 5:8).
Carter