There is one more soul-tie that we should talk about. It’s the soul-tie that we create with unforgiveness and bitterness. When someone hurts us specially badly, we can struggle beyond the mere battle of forgiving. We can end up with a bitterness and hostility that sour our disposition. When this persists we can become so occupied with this person, so conscious of our venom, so full of animosity, that we will be consumed with hatefulness. When this happens we end up making an unholy attachment to the person. We will need to do more than merely forgive the person. We will need to do a few other things to break from this destruction.
A few weeks ago (2/28/2017) I published a posting entitled, “Before Forgiving Others, Heal This First.” The point we made there was that when someone hurts you they are overtly or covertly judging you. Their words or actions become critical judgments about your value and significance. If someone rejects you, betrays you, slanders you, steals from you or otherwise robs you of your comfort and sense of safety, then they are making a judgment. You take that judgement and bury it in your heart. You play it in your mind and slowly begin to agree with it. This critical word becomes an identity, a seed in your heart that grows into a root of bitter self-judgment. You end up hating yourself, which is why your hatred for the other person is so great!
First, we need to be rid of this bitter root. To break the soul-tie you need to be at peace within yourself. You need to find the healing of Christ in your own heart through the Father’s comfort, so as to put away this critical judgment (the bitter root). Ask the Lord Jesus if He would deliver you from this bitter root. Sit quietly with Him in prayer, and bring this word up to Him. Speak the bitter judgment that you “received” from the other person, and that you have subtly acquiesced to. Speak it and ask the Lord if it is true. Listen to His comfort. Let Him cancel out the word. Second, allow Him speak a new word. Persist with Him to experience an exchange of the bitter word for His healing word. Let His ministry to your heart bring forth His honor and comfort of you, resulting in peace.
You may have to approach the throne of grace several days. You cannot be casual and unserious. Go to the Psalms and read several of them in numerical order. Read the spiritual journey of the psalmist. You may have to ask for His healing, then seek Him out if He seems distant, and then knock on His door to get your word. But you cannot break the soul-tie until God has spoken your new identity to you, to cancel out the judgment.
Third, formulate this dialogue with God into a prayer. I like to have people speak their full name, and declare to the spirit-world WHO they are in Christ. In this prayerful declaration, renounce the critical word that came to you from the other person, and command it to fall to the ground. Renounce the bitter self-judgment that you received and agreed with. Then announce your identity. Announce the new word you heard from God. Announce the blessings of Scripture over you. Speak what you found in the psalms. Declare who you are in accordance with the word of God.
Fourth, you are now ready to break the soul-tie. Here is a prayer to guide you.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Today, following Your healing of my heart,
I renounce my bitterness, and I cancel out my hatred for this person.
I choose to forgive them by the grace of the Lord Jesus at work in my heart.
I cancel the soul-tie I have made with this person in my bitterness and hatred.
I give you permission to reach into my heart and pull out this soul-tie.
(Renounce any image that arises in your heart,
images of hate and hurt that you have had toward the other person.)
I cancel out all mental, emotional and volitional agreements with this person’s word,
I cancel any vow I spoke over myself in agreement with this word.
I cancel the “oneness” that I made with it.
In place of these I have the love, comfort and acceptance of You, Heavenly Father.
I now speak forgiveness and release to this person.
and I seek your grace, Lord Jesus, to continue to heal and restore my heart.
I ask you God to bless this person and reveal Yourself more fully to them.
Lead me in Your ways of peace and reconciliation.
In Jesus name, Amen.
This bitter judgment is not who you are. Let God heal you at the level of Identity
– Carter