“The sexual confusion so prevalent in our world
and in our own hearts is simply
the human desire for heaven . . . . gone berserk!”
Hi Friends. That quote is from Christopher West. Someone handed me a couple of CD’s a few years ago, and I heard his amazing teaching on the theology of the body and sex. He was expounding on the teachings of Pope John Paul II, and it was good. Really good. Sexuality and Spirituality are the two deepest longings in our core. In fact, they are so deep and so inter-connected, that we often confuse them. You think I’m kidding? Take this quote (attributed to G.K. Chesterton):
“Every man who knocks on the door of a brothel, he is looking for God.”[1]
We are wired by God for deep connection with Him and others, to know and be known, to love and be loved . . . but when we feel that desire . . . we go to sex in an attempt to be satisfied! It is our spiritual passions gone berserk! Our spirituality and our sexuality are an attempt to find the same thing: intimate connection and belonging.
Let me explain this word, Sexuality. It is more than the mere act of sex. Our sexuality is a way of speaking of our gender role and identity, how we feel about our body and even how we feel about the pizzazz of our particular outfit on certain days. Sexuality includes our views on sex, our ideas about sex and our experiences with sex. It’s even a part of our spiritual identity (I am a holy, righteous man of God, a male for His purposes). Very plainly, our sexuality is expressed in the way we stand, walk, dress and smile, as well as in the way we talk, joke, approach, touch, hug and respect (or disrespect!) other peoples boundaries.
A definition of Sexuality could be, that dimension of our core being that is wired for desire and longing to connect with others, to know and be known, to love and be loved, on mental, emotional, spiritual, and most definitely, physical levels.
But notice how similar this is to spirituality.
A definition of Spirituality could be, that dimension of our core being that is wired to desire God and connect with Him, to know and be known, to love and be loved, on mental, emotional spiritual and even physical levels. The Bible has told us to love God with all of our heart, mind, soul and body.
As you can see, our Spirituality and our Sexuality are eerily similar. Both of these deep, internal longings reflect our wiring to bond and connect. Even in the Hebrew language God’s first word for sexual intimacy was yada (“to know,” as in Adam knew Eve), and then later it was used to speak of human relationships, of knowing God and one another. It is the word for knowing information gained through the five senses. Neuroscientists today have made the point that to have sex is to know that person. For during sex our brains are receiving data and storing it, producing chemicals that bond us together, and chemicals that make memories. No wonder God called sex, “knowing.” We are knowing and being known, and becoming one flesh.
And so it is spiritually, too. When we worship God, when we experience being in His presence, we are knowing and being known. We are worshiping Him in spirit and truth, truth as in knowing Him. He has revealed Himself to us, and we are responding back, Spirit to spirit.
We can see our spirituality when, in our sinful brokenness, pride, and painful relationships, we long for His healing presence, to know and be loved by Him. So also, we see the same longing in our sexual brokenness and our failures with sexual strongholds. Our sexual sins highlight our emptiness, and cause us to groan for a deeper connection with God. Our sexuality forever points us toward our Creator. It’s part of our human desire for heaven . . . and it often goes berserk!
I’ve written this as groundwork for you to understand the first couple of chapters of my new E-book, God Knows Your Struggle. I’m going to have a launch day with the book next Thursday, Feb 23. WOULD YOU HELP ME OUT? I want to invite those of you who might be interested in the book to select that day as the day to buy it. If everyone buys it on the same day, it might make Amazon’s list for Bestsellers. I’ll be highlighting more on the book in the next few days.
-Carter
[1] That’s three Catholics I’ve mentioned in this blog. I’m such an ecumenical Protestant, huh? But a brief review of The G.K. Chesterton Society’s website finds that his devoted fans cannot identify this statement as a direct quote from him.